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digested @ nettime -- mod(tb)] Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> LAST DAYS OF ODYSSEY INSTALLATION IN SECOND LIFE (and a couple texts) [intertheory] Fw: Open Letter on Academic Freedom (fwd) On e-poetry for an online seminar at De Montfort University 2/23 last days and building notes Odyssey somewhere staying alive sadness, last, fullness (show ending, final changes, please post) the last few minutes of the Hybrid / OCAD installation ah well HOW CAPITAL!, tired of Second Life Tired of Second Life Tires First ending invisible weathers - end of Second Life installation ill knots my failures in second life - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 04:00:38 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: LAST DAYS OF ODYSSEY INSTALLATION IN SECOND LIFE (and a couple texts) LAST DAYS OF ODYSSEY INSTALLATION IN SECOND LIFE (and a couple texts) Please note that the Accidental Artist at Odyssey is coming down in a few days, after close to nine months! I'd appreciate it if you have the time and energy to look at the installation in its final form. You might have to fly around the place or teleport, but it's pretty spectacular; it goes up to a height of around 980 virtual meters. Please do check it out - it's unique in Second Life and probably has taken longer than any other work to assemble. Thanks, Alan | To access the Odyssey exhibition The Accidental Artist: | http://slurl.com/secondlife/Odyssey/48/12/22 i story found inserted into a book by Jung: "Write a story about a disheveled homeless man who gets on a delayed train and starts talking to himself. The passengers think he's crazy. So when he says 'get off the train' the child takes him off. No one listens and the train crashes. The homeless man and the girl start a friendship." ii Julu: hello 23-Feb-2009 19:26:59 GMT Julu: now again 23-Feb-2009 19:28:02 GMT Julu: oh no! 23-Feb-2009 19:28:18 GMT Julu: hello here we are aren't we 23-Feb-2009 19:28:35 GMT Julu: yes we are 23-Feb-2009 19:28:49 GMT Julu: but at my end... 23-Feb-2009 19:29:03 GMT Julu: what has gott wrot 23-Feb-2009 19:32:42 GMT Julu: not much hello today 23-Feb-2009 19:32:50 GMT Julu: no? 23-Feb-2009 19:33:08 GMT Julu: no 23-Feb-2009 19:33:14 GMT Julu: not really 23-Feb-2009 19:33:28 GMT Julu: but wait, not a moment to lose! 23-Feb-2009 19:34:22 GMT Julu: honestly, I meant every word of it! 23-Feb-2009 19:34:37 GMT Julu: hold on, hold your houses! 23-Feb-2009 19:34:54 GMT Julu: here we go again! 23-Feb-2009 19:35:15 GMT Julu: but... 23-Feb-2009 19:35:36 GMT Julu: what I mean.. 23-Feb-2009 19:35:56 GMT Julu: but here is something else 23-Feb-2009 19:36:07 GMT Julu: before the virtual, the material - capital is virtual, its effects and ecology everywhere, its actions within the practical-inert. on one hand then: a tendency towards online virtualization and all that implies - on the other, the opposing flow of (virtual) capital and its corrosive effects. 23-Feb-2009 19:36:16 GMT Julu: suddenly... 23-Feb-2009 19:36:29 GMT Julu: a collapse... 23-Feb-2009 19:36:32 GMT Julu: there you are... 23-Feb-2009 19:37:25 GMT Julu: now 23-Feb-2009 19:37:33 GMT Julu: or... 23-Feb-2009 19:37:44 GMT Julu: I'd argue against that certainly! 23-Feb-2009 19:37:52 GMT [Julu left the session] 23-Feb-2009 19:47:49 GMT [Julu joined the session] 23-Feb-2009 19:50:20 GMT Julu: I just was alas eliminated for delay 23-Feb-2009 19:50:40 GMT Julu: la la la sorry! 23-Feb-2009 19:50:45 GMT Julu: I am speak to myself yes? 23-Feb-2009 19:50:54 GMT Julu: perhaps I am answer from you as well, alas 23-Feb-2009 19:51:02 GMT Julu: but now look!, everything is normal more! 23-Feb-2009 19:51:17 GMT == - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 11:17:59 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: [intertheory] Fw: Open Letter on Academic Freedom (fwd) ---------- Forwarded message ---------- date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 08:11:34 -0800 (PST) from: Nicholas Ruiz III <editor@intertheory.org> reply-To: intertheory@yahoogroups.com to: intertheory@yahoogroups.com cc: Cultural Studies <cultstud-l@lists.comm.umn.edu>, lbo-talk@lbo-talk.org subject: [intertheory] Fw: Open Letter on Academic Freedom fyi... Nicholas Ruiz III, Ph.D Editor, Kritikos http://intertheory.org ----- Forwarded Message ---- from: cynara medina <cm380102@ohio.edu> to: POPCULTURE-L@LISTS.UFL.EDU sent: Tuesday, February 24, 2009 10:50:26 AM subject: Open Letter on Academic Freedom As members of the academic community, we are deeply saddened by the stateme= nts made by State Representatives Charlice Byrd and Calvin Hill (R-Georgia)= , which were reported on by CNN on February 18, 2009 (see: http://www.cnn.c= om/video/#/video/living/2009/02/18/am.costello.teaching.sex.cnn). Both legi= slators, supported by the Christian Coalition, have declared their oppositi= on to the teaching of queer theory, sexuality, and similar subjects on mora= l grounds, arguing that these courses should be cut because they are a wast= e of taxpayer money. Granted, lawmakers are entitled to their opinion; the first amendment guara= ntees their right to express it freely. However, representatives Byrd, Hill= and their supporters demonstrate a complete disregard and lack of understa= nding of the fundamental mission of a university. The principle of Academic Freedom helps define our roles and responsibiliti= es as members of the university community. Individually and collectively, t= hrough our teaching and scholarship, we encourage our students to search an= d discover knowledge. Academic freedom protects us and our rights to conduc= t research, to publish and to freely discuss ideas that are relevant to our= fields of study. The principle, as defined by the American Association of = University Professors, also recognizes our rights, as citizens, to free exp= ression of our opinions, which should not be restricted by the institution.= At the same time, we are reminded of our special obligations to our studen= ts, and to the community. Hence, we are urged to "exercise proper restraint= ", to avoid controversies that have no bearing to our subject matter, to re= spect the opinions of others, and "to make every effort to indicate that th= ey are not speaking for the institution" for which we work (AAUP, 1940). We believe that classrooms are spaces to discuss ideas. A well-rounded educ= ation, furthermore, is not just about learning practical skills; it should = help students develop their ability to think critically, and to engage and = question their surroundings, their culture, their government, and even thei= r religious beliefs. If they can come out on the other side with deeper con= victions, either those they held before or new ones they have embraced, the= n we can say that it was all worth it. The grading, the uninspired students= , the incomprehensible committee jargon... all of it. Still, it saddens us that lawmakers in Georgia find so much to object about= , and that they use their position as a bully pulpit. They obviously don't = understand that queer theory, for example, is not meant as an attempt to re= cruit new "queers"; it is a useful tool to understand society and culture f= rom the point of view of a group that has always been on the outside lookin= g in. We can only hope that most of the students to come out of such a cour= se would be better equipped to handle themselves in a diverse world than le= gislators Byrd and Hill are. We support our colleagues and appreciate the freedom to share knowledge, an= d we encourage everyone who shares these sentiments to sign our online peti= tion, available at http://www.petitiononline.com/MDIA/petition.html, and/or= join our Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=3D5532410= 5142 Sincerely, Cynara M. Medina, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Dan Nelson, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Mia Consalvo, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Roger Cooper, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Joseph Straubhaar, Department of Radio-Television-Film, University of Texas= at Austin Janie Henderson, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Will Klatt, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Danielle M. Stern, Department of Communication - Christopher Newport Univer= sity Meghan Peirce, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Todd Harper, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Erin L. Hill, University of Colorado - Denver Victoria Wang, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Yu-ping Cheng, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Jill Estep, Staff - Ohio University Tanja E. Bosch, Lecturer, University of Cape Town, South Africa Masudul Biswas, Louisiana State University. Ra=FAl A. Mora, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Laura M. Rusnak, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Emily Kresiak, Department of Sociology - Ohio University Tiffany Teofilo, School of Media Arts and Studies -Ohio University Ann Alquist, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Shane Tilton, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Aarthi Rayapura, Ohio University Alumna Virginia Lacayo, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Tiffany Bowden, School of Media Arts and Studies - Ohio University Jamie McDonald, Graduate Teaching Fellow, University of Utah - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:57:46 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: On e-poetry for an online seminar at De Montfort University 2/23 Notes on e-poetry for an online seminar at De Montfort University 2/23 If you go to http://www.alansondheim.org/howard/ you'll see the materials I used - the talk was on e-poetry and virtual worlds. (Please note there are references to the Odyssey show; again, it's only up for a few more days - please check out http://slurl.com/secondlife/Odyssey/48/12/22 .) the virtual, writing, inscription: intertwined dynamics, presencing, virtual and material strata the linearity of writing melds with the passing of time, constructs the diegesis and the inhabiting of a text. hypertext jumps you in and out of choice / reading and I think as a result is problematic - you're making choices within a production of the text, but you're taken out of the text to make the choices. in virtual worlds, moving creates the dynamics of choice so that you're seeing or hearing signposts and signs, as if within the word, within the world, not within / without / within / etc. in virtual worlds, languaging appears always dynamic and in any number of modes - it's the pleasure of the living text (to the extent that anything lives or survives in the virtual). so there's a power and an incredible simplicity in working in Second Life for example - the database and software does almost all the work for you. the next steps are portals - productions between virtual worlds or sectors of virtual worlds or real worlds; eventually all sorts of intrusions will be possible. there are also behavioral signs. if you look at sprayed1 or swirl or vortices or writingmachine or kanji in the /howard/ directory, you'll see all sorts of ways for writing in the sky. these use either intrinsic motions scripted for objects, or extrinsic animation files scripted for avatars. the animation files come from altered motion capture files. most of the image files in the /howard/ directory contain texts attached to objects. if you look at slscript.txt you'll see how these are done. For the most recent texts, look in /howard/ at recent.txt - this contains my 'pertinent' writings from the last 2-3 weeks; for some of them I used the chat at DMU or chat within Second Life, as a compositional structure. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2009 01:29:34 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: last days and building notes Odyssey last days and building notes Odyssey http://www.alansondheim.org/ lastdays images C:\Users\alan\AppData\Roaming\SecondLife I thought it was fine but we need to have the coordinates, how to get there, your sponsorship, etc. I put a couple (3) almost invisible prims in the sand, they're hardly there... I need a blurb in .txt form to add to the chat stuff we had yesterday so I can send to the lists. I've got 37 pngs up already of the installation - you can use any of them - the other I don't have But I can come back in an hour or two - that would be great! I'll do that, but I doubt I'll hear from her - I wrote her twice recently and nothing... Tried the teleport - it made "as if" to move me but I stayed in the same place. Hi - the piece is finished - extensively changed textures etc. - thanks Are you there? Could you take my objects? I have to teach today - This messes me up, - at the moment I'm teaching and can't remove my ob- jects - I also have a documentary being done on the site Thursday ess for me - I can't reply or do anything now I saw that - it really fucks me up at this point. I don't have time to copy this show and I've put so much damn work into it. If you can, could you take copies of the stuff and pass it to me? I'm teaching this afternoon and can't deal with this until later and anyone can come in and just erase the whole thing This really isn't right I'm pasting in the dialog with - but someone put up a piece directly cutting into my installation - do you think I can return it? now this isn't right - I don't have time to remove things and anyone can make them disappear. It was only for a couple of days. I'm teaching in ten minutes and can't deal with this and by the time I do they'll likely be gone. That would be a huge huge relierf...,no I've been here everry day - I wrote you - you must not have gotten it No problem and thank you so much, maybe write I really appreciate this - I just want to work on the documentation properly as well. I'm sorry to h that's not it ... wners are and it's clotting up the upper regions of what I did - I need to video this - please ask these people to take this down at least for a week, thanks yes vertically - there's a huge piece which cuts into mine this must have been put up in the window she left open I might be able to return it but that seems bad mannered do you think I should return it? I don't know what to do it's builder and owner right next to the installation cutting into it in the sky - it's huge. I can teleport you if you want yes Hi - look up - give me a few minuts, I'm demoing the installation - back soon ok sorry - No it's not happening to me. Perhaps I should give you the piece if I haven't already? But I think I have - Things are always strange like that - you have three chairs at about 700m above the installation in Odyssey - which I quite like; and I talked there.. but I didn't hink you put them there deliberately? if you want to speak with him Let me know when the meeting is, but please try and get to reply? The is 3/4 missing - only one image on the grounds itself and large gaps in the particle pro- jection thing. Given that, I want to experiment - nothing dirty - haven't heard from you in a while, back later - done again again are you around? did you get my messages? Whatever it is, I changed the installation somewhat radically I'm more concerned at the moment, what we might do - we only have three days or so dum de dum dum ... it would help if you could change the texture of the sim to flat black I do. will install his piece again and I think might put his up as well. Once that happens it becomes difficult to change things back - and I had to work on it Documented yes but it will be really difficult to copy all of this - some of it isn't mine, some of it goes 1km in the air, beneath the ground, etc. etc. I haven't been able to at least with the tools/ select tool/edit command (or the others for that matter) somehow we'd have to copy the whole group of parcels - ?? I'm here - I think might have set that because the permissions were loose = hold on If I go to world about land objects refresh I'm getting 230 in the parcel I'm in which is zoneE Julu Twine (other me of course) has additional 7 ZoneF I have 757 total ZoneB 138 ZoneD 139 Zone1 524 That seems to be about it If I had the chance and the time and space and some idea of the length of time it would be up But there are maybe 1400 objects, it would be hard to do that I can't figure out how to save these as they are. I'd have to reconstruct from the prims themselves and it would be a different installation. the thing is now whether to let this thing go or try to preserve the space, what we were talking about earlier today someone would have to have the money of course well the problem of history is a big issue nothing lasts forever but it would be nice to keep this work and your work and gaz' work up at the moment, and the whole space is nicely configured for that matter the last is a very real issue you would have to ask her or we would have to ask together that would mean another land area and moving this or rebuilding - it would also mean your prims as well and the containing space you have here maybe you me and that money is way beyond me... at the moment I'd like to find some way to support this - neither of thsoe is remotely possible in this climate, take my word for it so it would have to be moved in any case then - then there's no reason to talk to , etc. - that's true the piece is really site-specific - your suggestion is good - all of that's true, but there's a deadline what makes sense it to take care of the immediate problem if that's possible and then have a group to work out the future of the space if there is one how is that possible? can you send me the info = 3 gigabytes that's about it yes I'm not worried about that but send me information - Is that the lower one or the one at 1km the one at 1km was missing almost everything there was only one slab left on the flat area out of about 20 on the squares that moved with particles coming out of them maybe 1/2 were missing no just checking again, nada could be but it seems to be an endemic problem up there. so the black spheres are easier to replace but I do need if you can to have the floor surface flat black and from below as well (at the moment it's transparent from below of course) if not we can leave it the way it is, but it would be better the other I think if it's flat black texture wouldn't slow up - no shine alpha black yes meet you there just saw you walk under me :-) you're below me at high resolution this is beautiful from outside are you there? maybe instead of flat black try just dark red? with texture? ah maybe not it's the top that's more important - it does look more organic without the bottom black yes what if the top were transparent as well - can you try that? totally clear glass no! just immediately below my feet :-) yes, perfect! clear! this is really mysteriour this is what is great about SL - the surprises - the spheres? neither, they're just slowly rotating in groups but they're enough of them that they seem to be moving in relation to you if they realy did they'd go off world up here to be sure where the pin is? I assume it's still there, a bit hard to see I did that - it works well with this ok keep me informed about everything I'm going to stay here a bit and look at the changing silhouettes thanks for this so much! and this is easier to repair | To access the Odyssey exhibition The Accidental Artist: | http://slurl.com/secondlife/Odyssey/48/12/22 | also installation at OCAD Hybrid - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2009 11:51:21 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: somewhere staying alive somewhere staying alive culled from De Montfort discussion (thanks to Tia Azulay, Peter Howard, Jaka Zeleznikar) (2/23/2009 original) First, we'll stay here? Yes, stay here Hmmm... I thought you could enlarge it, but this is fine. Second, is everyone here now? And third, how long are we on for? You can enlarge it here, but not there - at least not last time I used it ah, ok isn't here, but she may not turn up. So we may as well start. Should I begin then? It's after I assume, ok hi + its here We have as long as you like. And it's . in UK Well, one of the things that's interesting - as a way of beginning - is the state of the economy, Ah I see, Wow, well-saved then! There are all sorts of issues of property and ownership there of course and a fluid economy that translates for some into real dollars this is why I'm sceptical on worjibn in a cloud so to speak - no control over own data I've been getting by with a little help from my friends so I've been using it. So that's the background of the slight delay. Now - What I've been thinking about - is that the virtual allows incredible flexibility in writing and writing practices, which I've been working throuh of course. If you've looked at the images or been to the site, you've seen all sorts of languaging everywhere and the language can follow you, interact with you, etc. I'm a poor scripter but the possibilities are endless. So on one hand the economic crisis and capital which is doubly illusory - first, as a result of bad loans etc. - capital that wasn't there, phantom capital and second as a result of the intrinsic nature of capital - the phantom of capital, the abstraction which is aligned with concrete objects and/or other transactions in the real and virtual it's against this that we're all working and as you know, capital in relation to the brute economic real - roofs over people's heads - is in a state of corrsion, dissolution So in regard to writing - I've always thought of it as always already virtual, just as the material body-for-us is virtual, inscribed and ther's a dynamics involved in this, a similar dynamics to that functioning in Second Life but that may just be my pessimism talking so when we think of writing we're thinking always of diegesis, carrying or inhabiting the reader - so writing as linear - it's inhabited, inhabited by whome? by the reader, by the writer, the diegetic that's constructed in a kind of mutal dialog otherwise one might as well (not) consider mute signs without meaning the point of thinking about this for me - is that within virtual worlds there need not be jump cuts. You can teleport, but you can also move concretely so to speak within an environment where text, symbols, sounds, etc. emerge and disperse - you're really dealing with a three-dimensional textual environment where you still have choice of course, but it's not a matter of moving in and out of the text, but traveling within it or virtually inhabiting it with an avatar which seems to me to be something else altogether. You remain within the text which is iin three parts - the text of the environment itself, the environment as text the texts that are presented as language within the environment and the dynamics of those presetned texts as they move within tne environment in response to your movement there's also the level of scripting that underlies everything of course Well the real world is idiotic. As in lonely? to the extent that it's obdfurate, that it obfuscates text and inscription that text and inscription are at best temporary in a cosmos which pays no attention which for us is where the effects of capital might be the most acute, shutting down communicatipn systems, but also affecting housing, the ability to find food, one might think that shelter is simultaneously inscribed and obdurate in this sense (I haven't thoght this through) We assume for the most part we're reasonably healthy, at least enough to communicate, but that will probably be less and less true? in virtual worlds, languaging appears always dynamic and in any number of modes - it's the pleasure of the living text (to the extent that anything lives or survives in the virtual). so there's a power and an incredible simplicity in working in Second Life for example - the database and software does almsot all the work for you. the database / software does the work - you can refine things so you're working with larger building blocks, pre-assembled, not in-world so to speak but in your own database. the next steps are portals - productions between virtual worlds or sectors of virtual worlds or real worlds; eventually all sorts of intrusions will be possible. "productions"? things betwen real life so to speak and virtual worlds so to speak you can have video in SL pumped from RL and interacted with in SL and then that projected back or projects among different sims, different virtual worlds why "surplus" money? Because these experiments at this point are at the higher end of art/tech and cost - and there's no return. For example there are a lot of dance tech departments and initiatives at the moment, but these are all superstructural so to speak - they don't pump the economy really how much does art in general "pump" the economy> Well not death, you hopefully have copies on your hard drive. My own work is you Ning, Youtube, my directory, - machines, external hard drives, and DVDs - most people I know keep stuff like this - I don't know! Do you? It's obviously a trickle-down effect but slow... no problem absorbing all over the place, not giving back ok, back. , hope jou get better soon! Yes, I saw it in the text file I got interested in three-dimensional "writing" by having an object or avatar move in the sky leaving streams of particles What is the significance for you of its being -D? Depends on how adverse! Thrives as religion does in adverse circumstances... That I can create a sense of wonder, at least for myself, watching these things in motion, the kinds of dynammics and enveloping I'm used to in the real world, but not in other forms of inscription... Definitely thrives, but arte povera of course, not high tech For myself I want to explore the possibilites of the virtual as long as I can Sorry - was looking briefly at the site - I can do some simple command line It's magic = the command line. and it gets interesting to mix this with language all the words in English or Hebrew? thinking of language as performative - in some ways the command line seems alive, more so than real life conversation! But then it usually gives you just what you ask for. because your word become flesh visibly? Scripting in second life could be thought of as command-line stuff - so when an avatar say approaches an object and the text changes, it's a kind of performative yes () I've used the word "wryting" to imply a kind of writing - which I think actually comes from net.sex - that involves, implicates the body in a way that can't easily be seen as abstracted, distant, or virtual the shape of the "y" in "wryting" makes me think of "writhing" for some reason I work through that as a pun - writhing as a state of the body which implies a repetitive movement but the body on the verge of being out of control so that what's inscribed tends to "veer off" do you think it involves the body more than writing in the real world, or in a different way? do you consicer motion tracking a writing? one reason net.sex was so interesting to me is that it had concrete affects in the real world, and a sense of discomfort - affects or effects? or both? because of the dynamics, possibly more than writing in the real world - if you have two people communicating through chat for example they're engaged... motion tracking is a writing to be sure - it's writing bvh files for one thing... effects, sorry what are bvh files? probably is! you can actually go in and edit the files by hand - they're text, ascii. that way we produced those 'inconceivable' movements that are in a lot of the video Is that up on your site? That's interesting. At one point I played around with changing the < to > etc. - this won't register one of them did - anyway changing all the arrows to their opposite on html pages sorry about foggy description give me a second please wow, gorgeous voice - Azure? areas that may well collapse in the future - they're based on the economy - so what I try to do is move through these spaces, see what I can do, what sorts of phenomenology I can pull out of them it takes me places (bad metaphors) that I haven't been before There are all sorts of places to work with scripts - some of you might have worked it's hard to articualte in short chat lines but what about the tactile in d text? There are all sorts of 'tactility' in Second Life - which might be the easiest way to approach. There are ordinary objects that just sit there. There are objects that are phantom that look solid but you can walk through them. There are transparent (invisible) objects that block your way. I meant real life tactility - with user tactile interface More interesting to me, there are "physical" objects - which act as if they're subject to gravity - and these you actually do feel (others might not) - like text of the blind ah well.. In this sense, I think my work has a lot to do with limits - the limits of music improvisation, of textual comprehension - I worked at - is that open to see allrady? These borderline areas are fascinating, just as they are in text. the chilren stooren stoo ren stoo watching them out of the town; watching them out of the town; watching them out of the town; An there's little to earn, an many to keep, there's little to earn, an many to keep, many to keep, they trimme the lamps as the sun went the lamps as the sun went the lamps as the sun went own; own; own; An at the squall, an they looke they looke they looke at the shower, at the shower, at the shower, They looke the night-rack came rolling up ragge an an an brown. brown. brown. An en, an waters eep, - the software took out the spacing - anyway it makes for an almost "magical" text for me - I know what I did to modify Florian Cramer's script, but I have no idea why it's doing exactly what it's doing - I'm just fascinated by it. i find it interesting how we create meaning out of broken letters/words/grammar The same in SL - I've overloaded the gallery area with objects - yes! - that make it almost impossible to move into the space - so what happens is that the space can't be taken for granted, but has to be "negotiated" in different ways I should mention the work of Gaz here - s/he's the only artist I really like in Second Life and the work's brilliant - you can find it online - I'll take a look and it does things again that are impossible or inconceivable in RL - s/he literally changes your avatar body - there's a book = Gazira Babeli - that has a lot of images - i find it hard enough to change my own avatar body... and I think s/he is getting a sim of hir own to set up on. ... or my own real body, for that matter... I literaly felt ashamed when my avatar drop got naked ) S/he's managed to control avatars simultaneously from one site - ...entropy rules.. a master programmer - most of the time my avatar is naked - it's fascinating andreally opens up the idea that you can do things in virtual worlds that are literally unimaginable elsewhere most of the time people play around with fantasy, symbolism, surrealism, in these places, and I find that boring especially when you can create things that are utterly different than what you're used to. Someday I want to meet a programmer who could take, say, Blender and make it produce - or higher-dimensional objects - the real llimit in SL is the limit of three-dim,ensions which are taken for granted when (through projection down to the two-dimensional screen) there's no reason to stop there Why? why is it called body art? Why contested? body artist used their body as a primary expresive material (sort of) because it's not taken for granted, but used expressively as says, sometimes dangerously so exploring the limits of the body etc. (I once wrote "I write myself into existence. Marina Abramovi. was one from my geo I write myself out of existence." like menstrual art - painting in menstrual blood, etc? It's almost as soon as something is named, it's defused... gush, newer thought on that why on hold? One of my students was working with her blood in the late s there ... the menstrual taboo... there's immense power in that I think, yes, and also moving inside of oneself, and dealing with all those issues Mary Douglas write about in Purity and Danger - one of my favorite books - , sorry about thi thing word sorry about what? we = he - I had nothing to do with performances, typo, sorry ?? no prob we had couple = HE had ... Is there anything you would want to discuss while we're online? - couple of what? (I've lost it!) yes what's not considered normal is bringing menstruation to a kind of forefront - look at the injunctions in Leviticus for example to what "lies beneath the surface" (Sandor Gilman) - there are phenomenologies that circulate among all of these that I think in a way kind of drive the virtual as a site of the 'pure' for most people - - giving everyone a reason to consider them lesser human beings (like women), no doubt. building blocks of the holocaust just as online re=enactments are 'pure', emptied out yes as more people "go" virtual, more people "go" towards that state of decathecting from the problematic of the real why not look for it? but you had to sleep in them, eat and drink in them, you could be wounded etc. in other words, you had upkeep, you were always aware of your body whereas in SL, you just login and logout and there isn't even a standard (common, supplied) gesture for sleep awareness of the body is something one often loses while exploring the online world, I find you disappear in a magical swirl of particles - which brings into play the phenomenology of magic itself, and the avatar as a (deathless) simulacrum , absolutely - but this also occurs in real life. most of the time we're communcating, we're leaving our bodies behind one way or another. don't you think it's text what done that to us? in general before writing, we had to use our bodies to communicate? or weve done it through text we still do I think we're not faced with the other person in any radical sense in the real if I ask someone for a date, I take my life in my hands, especially if I'm ! scared out of my mind! being turned down affects the very core of my being, or seems to people in committed relationships still have online affairs as if they're games - my experience wasn't (lesser) being but (far greater) being - and they're not games and real life relationships dissolve as a result. ... but the taboo operates at a subconscious level.... that's why i say it's complex we don't have the tools to deal either with purity or the virtual. yes I agree the headlines for those articles were very misleading..... i think the comparison was that online networking is less good for you than real-life interaction because the real thing triggers chemical responses that are good for you... something like that [I must go away for a / minute] The claim was that there are physiological effects in real interaction that don't happen in the virtual. in RL it would have been a disaster (for me, I'm weak) Obscenity's interesting - it literally lights up other areas of the brain than normative language processing... [I'm back] maybe my cells are dead there or something I wonder about the report - certainly I can be aroused online, angry online, etc. The pheronomes aren't there but the rest is, so I'm curious about it. My cells are probably too active. I have to stop firing them (in both senses of the word - I need what's left). maybe it's all in the pheronomes... .. the health, i mean.. It could be. Because audio and visual clues are both available online. But then "you can smell fear" etc. ... and that's not particularly desirable In a way, people think that "scents" themselves - odors, smells - are "dirty" - you just have to see the commercials on the television here... which may have something to do with the power of live poetry readings - .... maybe feelings of anger, disappointment, being misunderstood, etc. are heightened due to the lack of the non-verbals, so there is more negative chemical activity than positive or something.... highly speculative one is in a room with a lot of other bodies... and they've gotten married .... that's a phenomenon I've heard of... vaguely... but can't imagine it I konw some of them, some have children now ... but i'm mostly a solitary wanderer on the web... ... ah, and present yourself better? maybe less better, but without embarrassment - it's unclear where a "real you" exists if one does at all... yes, thank you very much , and and too... well, in real life most of us are not in touch with our real selves, or don't have much integrity in presenting our real selves That's true I think, - at least it is for me bye - and thak all of you again for interesting talk! bye and thank you so much! Bye all, talk to ya through the wek week me too, I'll sign off now - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Fri, 27 Feb 2009 03:32:19 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: sadness, last, fullness (show ending, final changes, please post) sadness, last, fullness distraught at the ending of a nine-month residency, the work disappearing in two days, at least in its intended state; I've gone in and maximized the number of objects on some of the parcels, the last gasp of a form of hysteria awkwardly connected with creative stumbling among virtuals and reals. I didn't expect to feel this way, but I've explored every milli- meter of the place, such as it is, analyzed and written through it, taught classes with it or even there, inhering; I've exhibited it online and off, in galleries and film or video venues, and now the curtain's over and habitus almost but not quite yet removed. What you'll see if you enter the place, more a state of mind than anything else, is something unique now, the overflowing or abundance of the virtual and the struggle of computers to keep up with the flow which seems simultaneously endless and confined. Do go to the site one last time: | To access the Odyssey exhibition The Accidental Artist: | http://slurl.com/secondlife/Odyssey/48/12/22 - The next two days are all there is. http://www.alansondheim.org/ lastfullness pngs and I'll try to put some video up as well Sometime, somewhere, histories of these works should be preserved; now, they're ephemeral, at the whim of curators, owners, whomever, anyone but the artists who spend hundreds of hours creating them. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Fri, 27 Feb 2009 19:32:04 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: the last few minutes of the Hybrid / OCAD installation ah well the last few minutes of the Hybrid / OCAD installation http://www.alansondheim.org/ waterfog pngs and mp4 [12:32] Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 34, 44 due to parcel owner return. [12:32] Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 34, 44 due to parcel owner return. [12:32] Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 24, 48 due to parcel owner return. [12:32] Second Life: Too many instant messages. Delivery capped. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 34, 44 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 34, 44 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 34, 44 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 24, 48 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 24, 48 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 31, 43 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 24, 48 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 24, 48 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 14, 59 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 14, 59 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 41 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Block' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 28, 41 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Block' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 28, 41 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Block' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 26, 37 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 31, 43 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 31, 43 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 41 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 41 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Block' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 26, 37 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Block' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 27, 41 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Block' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 27, 41 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'rounds transparent floor with walls' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 28, 28 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 36, 38 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'rounds transparent floor with walls' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 5 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'rounds transparent floor with walls' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 0 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'iansphereplane' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 41 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Block' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 26, 40 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your 5 objects have been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah near parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 34, 44 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 47 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'neewtorus' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 21, 38 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your 2 objects have been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah near parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 0 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 37, 15 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 37, 15 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'rounds transparent floor with walls' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 29, 0 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Rock - small, agular' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 33, 4 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Rock - small, agular' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 33, 4 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Rock - small, agular' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 33, 4 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Rock - small, agular' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 33, 4 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Rock - small, agular' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 33, 4 due to parcel owner return. You have received a message from Second Life: Your object 'Object' has been returned to your inventory lost and found folder by ian Ah from parcel 'Hybrid Lab' at OCAD Campus 46, 49 due to parcel owner return. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Tue, 3 Mar 2009 22:37:27 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: HOW CAPITAL!, tired of Second Life HOW CAPITAL!, tired of Second Life http://www.alansondheim.org/ thickk pngs and http://www.alansondheim.org/thickk.mov @entrances / holes @exits / holes Alan (#10747) clitoris emote hungers (#5). (#5). PMC-MOO): exit down Table Table, plains, and bloody handprint here. Tiffany armor worn protecting from wounds of desperation, clitoral kinships, cleansed in every room, whispered into aphanisis course through alan, we breathe floods, our eyes stayin by you, you course through alan, we breathe floods, our eyes stayin by you, you expulsion of rhizomatic surface to skin smeared with effluvia, desire, fragments of love, exit down impaled on an endless plain of skin lanced with you-know-language lay me out on Menstrual Table lay me out on Menstrual Table male, trapped, a web-inversion, violation, fabric: He sees: a lance night of legs open to one and all, skin piercing lance upon Menstrual she arches, u beneath, pornog, its penis, its vagina, u Tiffanyalan the blood-red plains of bones, bodies, languages the male, you paint your blood savagely upon him vomit, i course through you, i you, swallow you thru me, Tiffany vomit, i course through you, i you, swallow you thru me, Tiffany you-know-language #2014 MEDIA-MOO *** Disconnected *** *** More *** 15 lines left. Do @more [rest|flush] for more. ... dense entanglement of liquid, blood, piss, shit, cum, spit, sweat, ... dense entanglement of liquid, blood, piss, shit, cum, spit, sweat, ...to stop st on the ed strands of my hiar and wrap it aroundure t the ..f my cock is ready to burst my legs are spread so far they are hurting n ..sureely this must have lag... lag... lag... laugh...oh god them ..yeah ..uyes, re places that through the other, other placescan only be touch... .everywhere.... I will imagine she's there now I will tell her to touch .sinceDalai Lamu know notha ing o that when that would be amazing, it <<<<<MISPELL>>>> <<<<<MISSPELL>>>> > eat corpse > fondle Tiffany > fondle woman > french Alan > french Alan > french Tiffany > french Tiffany > kill Alan > kill Alan > kill Alan > kill Tiffany > kiss Tiffany > kiss Tiffany > moan > quit > quit > take corpse @create $thing called lance @create $thing called skin @describe lance as holed skin, rimmed with Tiffanyalan @describe skin as lance holed with Tiffanyalan @examine #2014 @more @quit Alan caresses Tiffany hard. Alan is desperate to make Tiffany real. Tif- Alan chooses to ignore her shameful attempt to bite him. Tiffany despairs; Alan fondles Tiffany deeply and pleasurably. Life has become perfect. Be- Alan kisses her. Alan hugs her. Here comes the cavalry! Tiffany utters the Aliases: Tiffany Bones of Tiffany. But Alan is dead! Happiness has made him very beautiful and Alan knows he Comments: Connection closed by foreign host. Contents: Contents: Corpse of Tiffany Cut your hearts! Men cut their hearts. Men can't be killed. Their hearts Description set. Description set. Description set. Do [rest|flush] for more. Eat corpse. Goodbye, friends.. Come back soon I give up, I've bent over backwards for you. If you speak behind my I see no "Table" here. I see no "Tiffany" here. I see no "penis" here. I see no "vagina" here. Key: (None.) Knives clash. Death is everywhere. Freud recoils trembling. Freud cuts his Look Men and women eat the corpse. The woman misses men and women with her hit. Menstrual Table, anal, clitoris, MEDIA-MOO No way! men and women're fighting for mens and womens life! Obvious Verbs: Obvious exits: out to Living Quarters - 2nd Floor Ok. Orc falls over dead! PLEASE NO SINGING IN THESE PARTS! Says the Orc! PMC-MOO Potala... it needs ge of our editing somewhat I think too... it would drip Research purpose: Saint Thomas lowers his hand into the hole. Freud calls it something else. The day has begun. The hole to the north led to the dark forest but the hole to the west in The woman misses men and women with her hit. men and women fondly fondle The woman misses men and women with her hit. men and women hit Tiffany The woman misses men and women with her hit. men and women hit Tiffany Tiffany Tiffany (#2014) is owned by Alan (#10747). Tiffany arrives with an ear-splitting bang. Tiffany asks "Did you kill Orc?" Tiffany attacks! Tiffany eats a piece of rabbit meat. Tiffany exclaims "You killed me!" Tiffany fucks Alan hard! Alan misses Tiffany with his tongue. Tiffany fon- Tiffany gets the corpse of Alan. Tiffany eats the corpse. Tiffany becomes Tiffany kisses Alan with her tongue. Alan loves Tiffany, now she is not a Tiffany says "" Tiffany says "" Tiffany spoke the you-know-language which I wrote down in the never-die- Tiffany went into the church which was Tiffany. I turned another loop in Tiffany. Alan tells his true feelings to Tiffany. Alan loves the Tiffany!! Tiffanyalan You chop Tiffany to pieces! Ah! The blood! You drop the bones of Tiffany. You fondle yourself. You now have lance with object number #9757 and parent generic thing You now have skin with object number #4924 and parent generic thing You say "I will kill you." You say "It feels emptier somehow." You say "Let me try and kill you." You say "Now you wil kill me." You see #1, #5, and hieroglyph here. You see two-thousand-fourteen, Tiffany, anal, MEDIA-MOO, Menstrual Your blood freezes as you hear Tiffany's death cry! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Wed, 4 Mar 2009 20:09:13 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: Tired of Second Life Tires First Tired of Second Life Tires First After making and monitoring an installation for nine months, artist runs into murky politics, land-vandal issues, and aesthetic interference. He counters "what SL [Second Life] is all about is what I'm not; you [I] work day and night on something to have effect canceled by someone else." His masterwork "The Accident" [sic] was removed earlier this week, by himself. "During the removal process," he rejoined, "not by design I removed far too much, opening myself to great criticism, luckily countered by the gen- erosity of others in quickly repairing whatever damage may have accrued." He then went on to build anew, a work in part based on a momentary access to another part of the great SL universe. Such was the case that he turned it over from one parcel [parcel] to another in a matter of moments coupled with obsessive tuning. "I liked what I did," he declaimed, and my friend Selavy Oh interspersed his work with mine, something we had spoken about after his work appeared earlier with "The Accident" creating indeed an accident that made it difficult to finish final film and video-vertigo which I had desired for the remnant of documentation opened to me. Thus he withdrew at that earlier moment in SL time [not real time] and reinstalled at this later date and thus it stood for all time [not real time] meaning perhaps a day in quality." At which point double prismatic interferences first made everyone inaccessible to everyone else and second made the overt effect of the work ultimately unmalleable and unsupportable. Artist continued with broken statement about what he co-termed "defuge": that state of decathecting, disgust, exhaustion, and disinvestment after every- thing goes awry." True to his turning away with "disgust," he intoned his inability to continue making things in a world that simultaneously re- quired investment and release: "doing something and then forgetting about it or that one has done it or that one need welcome any subsequent change by others." For the construction of large-scale possibilities, he thought it far too much to think through when nothing would remain even in an immediate future but for alterations by others in an already unstable situation. "I have learned my lesson," he finally replied, "I am not free nor will I be nor are you [you] nor anyone else I know. We write our own programs in the language of the other and my behavior searches for asylum far from the maddening crowding confusion of protocols, programs, codes, languages, scripts, textures, and prim-prims." "Let me sink into thought," he cried, "let me sink! let me sink!" http://www.alansondheim.org/beau1.png http://www.alansondheim.org/beau2.png http://www.alansondheim.org/beau3.png access the accident http://slurl.com/secondlife/Odyssey/48/12/22 tiredness of Second Life SL Odyssey's sim (simulation region) is undergoing governance issue and I'm undergoing defuge, that sense of decathecting, staleness, and exhaus- tion that I've written about before. I'm not sure I'm alone in this, and I'm bringing baggage from participation on the Quota Review Board n - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Sat, 7 Mar 2009 01:01:19 -0500 (EST) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: ending invisible weathers - end of Second Life installation ending invisible weathers natural ending to harmonic art http://www.alansondheim.org/ hhand pngs http://www.alansondheim.org/djing.mp4 this seems the natural end to a long series of works, please visit and/or look at these, search these - no idea how long they'll allow the installation to stay in place, give it a whirl, punpun intended the accident http://slurl.com/secondlife/Odyssey/48/12/22 with Selavy Oh we love this land - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Mon, 9 Mar 2009 01:52:32 -0400 (EDT) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: ill knots i'm fascinated by the knots, aporia, that buckle and unbuckle constantly in the current installation and in their imminent formation as soon as the drawing-out begins, as if objects were generated anew, given the instance of each and every entrance into the virtual world at the same time in the real, my illness, however it be, has become viru- lant, and it refuses me the responsibility of a cure i have had blood tests, eegs, x-rays, sleep studies, ekgs, prescriptions, regimens, vitamins, exercises, consultancies, to no avail between miserable vision and hearing, and these odd temperature drops and flu-symptoms without cause or reason, nothing lies but i will die i am sure of it, with a whine and a whimper and the knots will continue forming and unforming until an administrator cancels quite correctly this homeland and turns it over to someone else this temporary homeland, this temporary life http://www.alansondheim.org/ stages pngs to see this before it disappears, please do, it's the culmination, apex, aporia, nadir, of all that came before it, within it, upon it, the accident @ http://slurl.com/secondlife/Odyssey/48/12/22 to see the issues facing odyssey today go to http://odysseyart.ning.com - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:06:45 -0400 (EDT) From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com> Subject: my failures in second life my failures in second life spending too much time in second life designing too many things in second life in a single installation in second life changing too many things too often documenting with too many photographs and videos with too many texts and audio files hiding out too much of the time in my installation writing over and over again about second life forgetting second life is a tiny little world forgetting there's more to life than second life not applying for grants and exhibitions in the real world not looking after myself in second life thinking too much inside the box hoping uselessly for grants and commissions to support my habit kludging and never learning scripting language never entering second life in my dreams pretending that second life has some ontological status thinking i'll never die in second life never finding real publication for the second life texts never getting past moderated email lists with my second life texts never really getting audience or readership never really having extended dialog about the virtual misrecognizing my second life work as having philosophical implications thinking my second life work somehow extends the nature of the virtual feeling too hopeless and too close to death even when in second life and never releasing second life into first life and never calming down hoping uselessly that my second life work will exist at least for a short time after i no longer work in second life and hoping uselessly as well that my work will continue and exist somehow in spite of the ephemeral nature of data-bases being unable to attract outside attention for my second life work being unable to feel i've accomplished anything at all and feeling useless participating in issues of governance going nowhere feeling useless in second life and then feeling useless in general thinking i've wasted nine months of my life for an invisible project never having the means to attend conferences and seminars and almost always presenting second life from a distance as if the virtuality of second life conjured up the virtual and as if the virtual always begets the virtual finding it impossible to really suture between second life performance and live performance and never having access to adequate technology to explore this area never meeting the sysadmins who own and control second life and never understanding the structure of the second life data-base never working sufficiently well with the gaz stand-alone application and never really exploring the open-sim application feeling i haven't enough knowledge to contribute to open-sim feeling lost there and finding no one really to collaborate with who might extend my work or our work into open-sim and develop it in depth in second life itself feeling clumsy with my avatars' dance moves and not understanding how to develop even the simplest avatar facial expressions and body attitudes finding python, ruby, java and c++ basically opaque feeling like an idiot confronted with the simplest programs that i can only change in my dreams no matter how many ideas i have above all realizing the foolishness and isolation of all of this and being cut off from galleries and exhibitions, real-world installations portals between second life and the rest of the world so that whatever i do remains in the tiniest corner of the world no matter first or second or third or fourth life while i wait to die or second life to die or both of us or my work to be corrupted elsewhere as data-bases and files disappear since another failure is my inability to get hard-copy for just about anything i've tried to do in the past year or so whether to get books published by academic presses that might actually find their way onto book-store shelves or to get reasonable off-line video disks and printed graphics or for that matter to get a teaching job that might put food on the table or health care for both azure and myself or building repair or something to end the hysteria which seeps into my life when i think of these things when i think of all my failures in second life and the failures engendered in the real world by virtue of second life or the failures engendered whether or not second life played any role in them and i tend to exaggerate how much second life is responsible for my failures which are my own my tawdry installation is such a jumble it's called the accident after i called it the accidental artist but the installation itself seems an accident and in any case second life won't last forever and i'll last a lot less and there never will be afterwards failing by writing too much and hoping at least one person has read the texts or what i call the imaginary audience poetics and nettime keep my work off their lists in second life i might have used too much server time who knows but my health is poor and i'm closer to anita berber than poor b.b. closer to valeska gert than mary wigman i failed to bring them into second life they all ran away from second life they were smart and smarter than me they did things in memory i've been spending too much time in memory and my data is in memory my data miscarried i'm lost in my data and my data miscarried http://www.alansondheim.org/ scribble pngs - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - # distributed via <nettime>: no commercial use without permission # <nettime> is a moderated mailing list for net criticism, # collaborative text filtering and cultural politics of the nets # more info: http://mail.kein.org/mailman/listinfo/nettime-l # archive: http://www.nettime.org contact: 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