[oldboys] privatepublicpolitical

[anna@nadir.org]

this got stuck so i'm trying a second time..this text was sent to 3 
or 4 lists already on friday.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Once upon a time, when I wanted to take part in a Media Activism 
Festival
=====================================================


I have a son. He's 13 months old, very sweet and I like him a lot. I 
want him to be fine.

This is something I need to say before I say anything about the 
subject I want to write about, it seems.

I am going to go to Amsterdam next week to take part in the Next 5 
Minutes, International Festival of Tactical Media --> 
http://www.next5minutes.org/n5m/index.jsp . I'm hoping to meet other 
activists of Indymedia there as well as people I know from other 
occasions and actions. I'm glad to know that some "Faces" will be 
there, women connected through a mailing list on Women and New Media. 
Also of course I'm curious about the program which offers a lot of 
interesting details.


********** how playful can conferences get? **

As soon as I had thought of going I sent an email to the organizers 
asking whether it was going to be possible to take part with a child 
and whether they had though yet of providing childcare (via the 
contact email address on the website). The very same day I sent off 
the email, June 20th, I got a reply from one of the organizers whom I 
happen to know from the very beginning of Indymedia activities some 
years ago. He wrote "If we know that more children will be brought 
along, we could organise something. The parents would have to pay a 
little fee to cover the expenses, but this would be more than 
reasonable, I think." He went on saying that he would be happy to see 
to it that venues would be smoke free. Reading this in June I was 
optimistic that something would be set up because I don't remember 
any kind of conference, activist or not, without people participating 
who need childcare. Also I saw that several people were involved in 
either the organization of the conference or the editorial board whom 
I had collaborated with on several occasions, and this made be think 
that through personal contacts it might be easier to have the problem 
recognized. Obviously I don't like making things move by knowing 
"important people" - in this case I just thought it would be easier 
to not have the problem get lost between other important issues.

My experience with (media) activism combined with parenthood so far 
is that thinking of childcare is usually not one of the first things, 
as parents often get less active after having a child and 
specifically women (who, as we all know, have to take care of 
children more often) are less present in media activism for other 
reasons. But whenever I mention that I will be somewhere and ask 
about it there will always be some people who make provisions so that 
I can come with my child.


********** indymedia and (not) n5m **

My next steps directed me to the Dutch Indymedia people sometime in 
July as I wondered whether there was going to be an Indymedia 
presence at the festival and how. Just passively watching seemed 
unsatisfying but then the local group would have to be the one to 
organize the framework and give us some ideas of how to relate to the 
festival as they would know so much more about it. 

Soon after on the European mailing list of Indymedia lively debates 
started 
(http://lists.indymedia.org/mailman/public/imc-europe/2003-August/thread.html). 
It became clear very soon that the relations between Indymedia and 
the Next 5 Minutes weren't all that beautiful but nonetheless many 
people planned to take part. Indymedia NL had some strong 
reservations which became visible in a proposal to not have Indymedia 
activities actually at the festival venue but rather outside, also 
because entry fees were considered too high and therefore to be 
exclusive to many people affiliated with Indymedia. People from 
outside the Netherlands didn't all understand what the reservations 
were about but expressed hope to understand more once they were there 
and were confident in Indymedia.nl to do anything they could to make 
it a successful event.

It was then also proposed to meet during the Festival in one evening 
in a squatter bar, the 'Vrankrijk'. I sent an email asking whether it 
was possible to have the social part of the program in a place where 
I could be as well, with my child. 

|_________  _________ 

I don't like to make him stay awake when he's tired. Of course I'd 
much rather see him in bed in the evening. Sometimes when I want to 
go see people in the evenings or have a meeting it's possible to put 
children to sleep in a room next door or meet outside in a bar, a 
park, anything. And this is a good compromise between his need to 
sleep and my need to not always be at home. I really don't think that 
a depressed mother who feels her child is responsible for her having 
to give up all political activity is good to have. 

And yes: not being able to join the evening part of politics does 
mean being out. Especially in media activism (which is very male 
which is very informal... . See 
http://de.indymedia.org/2002/01/13720.shtml).
 _______  ________
|

My idea was to remind everyone of the different needs that we have 
and I was hoping not having to be at the place where I'll be staying 
while everybody else is having the party in the bar.

The plain and simple answer was: no. No smoking in 'Vrankrijk' is 
impossible [a self-managed activist bar, as far as I know], and 
Amsterdam doesn't offer anything else. We want to have a nice 
evening, accordingly this takes place in a bar and the child 
shouldn't be there in the evening anyway. [This is my summary of a 
just slightly friendlier email, A.]
I was surprised, to say the least. This communication happened on the 
Dutch editorial list with cc's to some of the people from other 
countries who had said they were going to come. The first reply was 
sent to all of these *except* for me. Unintentionally, I assume. No 
part of this can be found in a public archive or on a public list.

I replied that I thought it can't possibly be intended to *not* 
exclude those who can't pay the N5M fees but instead to exclude those 
with children. And suggested again to have another time and place for 
a meeting for all Indymedia activists to get together. I never got a 
reply to this.


********** rumours? **

Apparently a lot of communication happened then within the Dutch IMC, 
some of which was transferred to me through the grapevine. According 
to some of the activists from Amsterdam it's solely the parents' 
responsibility to find a solution to the problem 'children vs. 
activism'. It's actually being considered to be egotistical to bother 
anyone else with problems arising from having children, and 
definitely no children should be taken to meetings since that is 
boring for the children and disturbing for the adults. They shouldn't 
be anywhere where they can be heard, if possible. A female activist 
went as far as saying that it was my decision to have the child - I 
could just as well have had an abortion if I had wanted to stay 
active. Since she took the decision to not have children herself I 
cannot expect any consideration from her side. If I can't join 
meetings because of my child then this is my very own problem [quite 
true, A.] and not anybody else's.

I also heard that I as a feminist tend to like making a victim of 
myself.

This is a fundamental misunderstanding: I am a feminist to avoid 
being a victim. Actually I hate handing over power for others to 
decide what I might or might not do. Having to beg others to let me 
have the chance to take part in their oh-so-amazing whatever makes me 
angry. I can't stand it. It drains all energy from me, it makes me 
feel disgust and I have more than once by now thought that i'd rather 
stay at home than go through this. I just don't understand how anyone 
who claims to be struggling for a more equal and just world can be so 
ignorant of people with different needs. 
And I'd much rather be arguing for someone else, like most of us 
would, or spend my time with something useful.


********** next to nothing **

As long as the Dutch IMC didn't really change its proposals or made 
public what the decisions were or the reasons behind, no more public 
discussion was possible on the issue, e.g. between all other 
Indymedia activists who plan to come. A very diplomatic Update on N5M 
was sent around on the imc-europe list of Indymedia two weeks later 
by an activist from Amsterdam in a attempt to get the discussion 
going again. It took the unresolved problem into consideration saying 
that it is unclear where the Indymedia meeting(s) could take place 
because no suitable place had been found so far; that ASCII (the 
proposed place for a workshop on Indymedia during the day, the local 
media activist place, as an alternative to the evening meeting in the 
bar) was unsuitable in general and not just because of the 
reservations against children by the Indymedia activists; that 
probably not all activists would be at the Vrankrijk in the evening. 
Nobody reacted to that, instead it seems that people from elsewhere 
think that everyone will be in Vrankrijk. Emails now start ending 
with "See you all in Vrankrijk".

While this was (not) happening an excellent collaboration took place 
between international activists to prepare the Indymedia panel during 
the Festival (see 
http://docs.indymedia.org/view/Global/NextFiveMinutes).


********** no more than 5 minutes **

In the meantime I started getting in touch with all the people I knew 
at or close to N5M to see whether they could tell me anything about 
childcare or at least the festival locations being smoke-free, also 
to see whether it might be possible to find an alternative space for 
Indymedia get-togethers.

One organizer told me he had thought I had lost interest in the 
conference and so hadn't pursued the matter. But why don't I try to 
get in touch with other parents to see what we can do? Also there 
might be some childcare at the Festival Campground 30 minutes away 
from the festival, probably only for older children though. 
My impression is that all other parents either stay at home or have 
found a solution that doesn't involve bringing children to Amsterdam. 
So far I have no answer to the question I sent off next: how do I get 
in touch with them?

Another organizer (who had been reminded of the fact that I was 
coming with a baby during at least three real live conversations that 
I know of) replied to my last Email nine days before the Festival 
starts thanking me "for informing me about your problem. The 
difficulty is that it is already Tuesday now and the festival starts 
in a little more than one week from now, so I'm afraid I can't do 
much for you."


********** does Amsterdam have nice playgrounds? and who needs them? 
**

I'm really thankful to see some Dutch activists (including some of 
Indymedia.nl) offering to help anywhere they can, offering to 
babysit, offering a room for the two of us, offering to take care of 
organizing a baby bed etc.

I'm stunned to see a political event placing all responsibility for 
needs beyong the typical male white european able activist on the 
people in need themselves. If this is what Access for All is all 
about then I'm not too curious about this better world we (!?) all 
want to achieve.

I'm not sure whether I'll be able to really enjoy innovative topics, 
well constructed debates, colorful installations. Or argue about the 
use of all of this. Maybe I will though.







P.S.
Please refrain from telling me what's best for my child. I do care - 
in fact most parents are worrying about that a lot more than you 
would think.


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