Syndicate: (en) Zaginflatch #17, 28th March 1999.

[Andreas Broeckmann <abroeck@v2.nl>]

Jovana from Belgrade: I don't know why do I feel like I am on the third
side (as usual) and that there are not many of us. (see below)


Date: Mon, 29 Mar 1999 02:15:40 +0300
From: Alain Kessi <kessi@bitex.com>

*** ex-yu-a-lista ***

ZAGINFLATCH #17, 28th March 1999.
newsletter published by Zagreb Anarchist Movement

ZAP / ARK
GAJEVA 55
10 000 ZAGREB
CROATIA

zap_zg@geocities.com
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/3707/


Dear friends,

info on Zaginflatch is available on request.

Basically, with this newsletter we want to inform the international
community (this is you) on how antiautoritarians in Yugoslavia and
ex-Yugoslavia feel in these moments. Also, as people who have experienced
air raids and general alerts, we want to support our friends in Yugoslavia
who are experiencing this today. This is our act of solidarity.
We don't want to prejudice any political solutions to Kosovo and other ex-yu
problems, we just want to help our friends, and support them in this way.
All opinions published in Zaginflatch will be just personal ones. There is
no joint platform.
Zaginflatch will bring you hardly any news in the way mainstream media does
it. For this kind of info we suggest you try cnn, bbc or some other
services. They are available to you anyway.. This is meant to come from
inside.

Zagreb Anarchist Movement (ZAP)

what follows are translated extracts from mails posted to
ex-yu-a-lista@zamir.net which is a mailing list for ex-yu anarchists, and
from private emails..




*************************************



From: Maja, Smederevo. presently staying in Zagreb

Thousand thoughts should be put out at once. And something should be said.
But what? I do not know anymore, it is total chaos in my head, everything is
totally sick and that is too much. I have never outlived this before, in
fact I am still not outliving it fully because I am still not there where
are some people that mean the most to me, where is fucking bomb attack,
where one by one slowly goes away like in every other fucking war. But you
can not feel it fully (at least I think that way) until it is about
something that has direct connections with you and with to you important
people and things. That is all classic about any war, but I am experiencing
this one and that is why I am writing about that.
I do not have any concrete solution in my head how that could be solved
neither before nor now. What I know for sure is that solution should be
anything but just without fucking shooting and killing and without human or
any other victims. I condemn all three (or more) sides, Serbian and Albanian
army and NATO too, and all the others who will use the whole situation for
their dark aims of predominance in region. THAT IS BALKAN. Maybe Kosovo
should be given completely, or at least one its part, if some kind of wider
autonomy "was not possible". There are (or at least were) more than 90% of
population Albanians and they  have to live normally. All population on
Kosovo, whether it is Albanian or Serbian or any other, suffered double,
from both armies (Serbian and Albanian). I do not know about massacres
Albanian army did (except from tv-that is not confidently to me), but for
Serbian army I know few things (from people that were on Kosovo in army)
that are so brutal that I do not want to anything more than that.
Somehow I was in Zagreb when attack started. Last time when it was closed to
attack, I was out of country too, but in Macedonia. I am an optimist and
that is what kept me thinking both times that it will not be anything about
attack, but when you watch on Macedonian or Croatia TV how weapons are just
coming around YU, you start being paranoid. My optimism last time was
successful shot, but this time it failed. It was horrible to listen that all
that is closer and closer and to bet with friend that nothing is going to
happen and then just to hear - THEY BOMBED. And what then, what is about
you, what is about those there, what is about these here. My feelings have
changed to the borders of sick and perverse and before it really happened.
There were some moments when I was happy , like-great, I will ask for asylum
(and get some worth passport) or great, I am staying in Croatia (it was so
long until I have got visa for here, and I wanted so much to come).But there
were moments, in fact periods when  I wanted to scream, when I wanted to
disappear, or that I did not even come here, to be there with those people
that mean the most to me, to see few times more things that mean to me, to
listen to few more records while I still have them. In fact that is what I
really feel, and the moments of sick happiness are, I suppose some kind of
self- defense mechanism. That is all too pathetic for me, but that is how I
feel now. Bojan asked me what if all this lasted for too long, what then,
and I do not know what then; I do not know and I do not want to know. I am
still thinking about going home regardless of everything (on the day I
should go if this did not happen). But, does it have any sense.
Realistically not, but if I follow my thoughts then it has sense of course.
These are big dilemmas which I am not going to think about at least for
today.
I am glad that here we have friends who are trying to turn our thoughts from
all this shit and who do not "let us " go home. It means very much when you
know that you have somebody who cares about you (specially in this kind of
situations). In some moments I get away from murder thoughts and I feel kind
of good. And then, I find some fucking media again and everything starts
again-CNN, SKY, HRT1 and then again. I became TV addict in the real sense of
that word. I have never watched so much news in my life. But today I said-no
more. We will see what will become of that.
that is that. I could write more and more, but this is already too much.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE MOTHER OF A THOSAND DEAD?"


********************************



From: Jelena Kovacevic, jelenak@EUnet.yu, belgrade

My dear friends, friends in bad times, This is my second message I am
forwarding to all of you. any many  thanks on good wishes. Don't stop
writing to all addresses you have. I am not mourning and I am not worrying
more than the situation asks  for it. I know the most important thing is to
try to stay informed as  much as it is possible and to act according those
news. So, without  panic. I try as much as I can, to share the feeling of
sane with others and to give it off. The situation is like that we can't
encourage, can't threat the enemy. I have always been against violence and
warfare. But I am not for surrender which would mean that we give up our
integrity, our  self-consistence. It's important to stay a person and to
keep in mind a feeling of self-quality. Once again, I would like us to send
together our voice against savagery which has come upon my/our country.
I want to thank you for what you did till now. May be these voices can't do
much at the moment but once their power will be obvious. I will continue
sending my messages, whenever I can. A few minutes ago  we again heard
siren. I am sitting in dark trying to type letters. I  should be in shelter
but I don't want to go anywhere. Horrible horrible - what man is capable to
do to other man!
Please, try to communicate all the people you know and tell them to  give
their voice against bombing.




********************************



From: darko kujundzic <darko_sa@hotmail.com>, sarajevo

Yugoslav Army, together with the rest of Serbian military formations present
on Kosovo, has intensified it's attacks on Albanian population, after NATO
started with air strikes. Independent media reports about tens of killed
Albanians all over Kosovo.
In fact, this reaction was completely expected as an act of retaliation for
NATO attacks. It is evident that this NATO move is the solution worse than
any other available, but Milosevic was repeatedly told how will the response
to his fascist politics look like. He refused all other better solutions.
I don't support the strikes.
But equally, I don't want to close my eyes in front of the murders of
innocent Albanian civilians. Many people do that today. Unfortunately.
Are real people really less important that the whole Yugoslav military
industry. There have been many mails sent to this list (ex-yu-a-lista, mb) -
which reminds me more and more of the Serbian TV - but in the past couple of
months NOT ONE message spoke about masacres over Albanians (remember there
were a couple of them).
On the other hand, after 4 days of NATO air strikes, there has been cca. 250
messages which speak about strikes on the military facilities.
Why?
Are people's lives really so cheap, so miserable, invaluable, to be less
valuable than arms factories, military airports and such. Or are they so
cheap, so invaluable because they are "foreign".

Sincerely.
Thank you.
Darko, Sarajevo



********************************


From: Viktor Todorovic, olorin@eunet.yu, ICQ: 30654211, belgrade


Since i couldn't sit down in peace, i decided to take a walk through the
center and see what's happening.
Dorcol is relatively vivid. Citizens don't really respect the order for
black out, and there are many people who sit in front of the buildings and
chat. In front of the "Komsinica" (neighbour) drugstore at Gundulicev venac,
some people are drinking beer. There are some children there as well, also
stray dogs. The dogs seem to act strange. They try to stay close to the
people, are quiet and don't sniff. They look sad. Palilula seems also
undisciplined regarding the black out, especially skyscrapers in 27th march
street. However there are less people in the street.
I am dissapointed to see that famous pub "Nislija" is closed. They were open
to sell to the students of 5th gimnasium during their daily break, and now
stay empty. However I want to give all the credits to "Palilula" grill
house. They work, and are cheap.
Regarding Lole Ribara street, it is totally dark there. Ever in the shops.
You can't say that about Palmoticeva street. Then it gets more dark as you
walk towards "politika" building.

Let's go a bit to the other end! Boris Kidric street is in complete
darkness. Also all surrounding streets. However, pub "Zlatni top" works.
Bartenders wait for customers while simphonic jazz plays in the
background.Tasmajdanski park is more-less empty, although there are a few
people with dogs. Through General Zdanov's street you can see darkened trams
and a few cars....

---

reply to darko's message (see above)

And in Serbia people die. Soldiers are also people. Even policemen.
Regarding Kosovo, ever since the war started progressive forces have opposed
to the conflict (ark, otpor...). Don't look at Kosovo events from just one
side. First of all, information that comes from there is highly unreliable.
Second, there is no independant media. Third, it seems to me that UCK sticks
to the tactics, the worse it looks the better it is, i.e. they might be able
to sacrifice their fellow citizens to gain independant Kosovo. Forth. don't
expect from people who spend night in cellars, don't sleep well and are
tempted phisically and psichically to think about Kosovo. They thought about
it earlier, but instead od help from "democratic" world, bombs came.
PS: I hope that you, as a person from Sarajevo, who has lived under bombs,
will understand us.
PPS: Maybe you haven't noticed, but we have sent news about attacks on
Albanians all over Serbia, and we spoke about tose barbaric acts against our
neighbours. Just down the street, near my home there is an Albanian owned
shop called "Serbia". So far everything's fine, but if someone tryes
anything against them i hereby promise to defend them!

---

Auch! Those weekend Chetnik warriors and nationalist will destroy us! I fuck
such support that comes from them, Zirinovski and similar assholes.



********************************


from: Jovana, Belgrade, jellybean@Eunet.yu

by the way, I won't go to the shelter any more. I feel better to be alone in
the house than to tolerate the new govermnent in the shelter. I have
probably mentioned to you that 2/3 of people in my shelter are gypsies, and
they are the only nice people there. You can sit down and talk with them,
share some food... however, some freaks from the civil guards got the idea
that they are now very important people, so they have put out their ranks i
try to govern the shelter. Today one of those freaks brought a woman to
recognize the person who has put shit on the door handle. When she
recognized the person, they practically linched him...

---

reply to darko's message (see above)

I agree with you Darko! Even before the bombing Yugoslav Army attacked the
Albanians. I am sorry that we don't receive information about that, but it'd
be good if people who know something could send us something. I don't know
why do I feel like I am on the third side (as usual)  and that there are not
many of us.



********************************

from: Jelena,

Dear friends, where ever you are!

It's already morning and I at the moment I keep much more steady. I need to
correspond with all of you. It's like writing a diary...
Thank you a lot for all your good wishes. It seems we need them a pretty
lot - we need positive, sound and human action. So,here in Belgrade the
immediate air-raid have passed. It is necessary all threats stop. Please,
don't hesitate and give your voice against  raging brutal and lawless
behavior of the American mighty authority. I sincerely hope  there is a
stronger volition which can resist the brute force.
A shinning morning raised up. Almost I can't comprehend what happened us
last night - those first detonation - we didn't know what it was.  Neither
it was frightful. If you were out and met tired people who had also got out
their bomb shelters, if you heard their strange stories in strange
situation, if you tried to plan, and thus meant to think in advance, into
future, you  could feel unsafe and powerless in the very moment.
Let us stand against American warfare and destruction, against its brute
force! Don't let any feeling of collective and individual unsafe and
powerlessness come out under the military and political press!
Please, send this message to all addresses you know. Add your voice  also.
Copy the message and write yourself. Don't let any force capture  and
destroy your sound spirit.


********************************


From: Darko Kovacevic <darko@medias-net.com>, Pozega


Since I am active with some media ever since the bombing has started (I work
on radio Pozega) I must say to you that there is a lot of disinformation and
state censorship, so beleive only what you see with your eyes, and not what
you're told. Regarding the number of shot nato planes it is certain that
tonight one F171 was shot down. The rest could be plain morale pumping
propaganda. I am saying this because I saw on this list that you mentioned
20-30 planes. This is unrealistic... The less we know it is easier to rule
over us...


********************************


the end.

*** pseudoastronaut klase D ***