[Nettime-bold] New S&D

[Dan Schneider <cosmoetica@att.net>]

http://www.cosmoetica.com/S&D.htm#D5-DES4

D5-DES4
The Unseemly Rise of the Modern Magalog
or The Ridiculously Bad Reviews of Rain Taxi
Copyright © by Dan Schneider, cosmoetica@att.net, 5/21/01
D5-DES4 Replies

  A while back I received an essay from a former poetic Academic Insider

named Briggs Seekins- it was called The Poetry Workshop and its
Discontents. It was an expose of the incestuous world of workshops & MFA

writing programs. While it recapitulated alot of what I have said for
many years it did strike a chord with a number of readers of Cosmoetica.

But the most cogent critique contained was Seekins’ denuding the rather
obvious (to those familiar with poetry criticism of the last 30 or so
years) ploy that book reviewers use to review books they have never or
barely, read. In sum, the 7 steps are: 1) Establish your literary
credentials by culling & using anecdotes from famous writers/critics
whether or not they have any connection to the work reviewed. 2) Use
generic code phrases as, “In his/her recent collection insert name of
book….”, “Poet X reconfirms/establishes/emerges his/her place as a force

in American poetry.” 3) Read the book’s blurbs, select one or more & use

a line or 2 from a poem within to show the blurbist is correct. 4)
Repeat step 3 as often as needed to pad the review. 5) If the book has
actually induced the critic to pry it open you can share 1 or 2 mild
opinions & even rebuke an unknown poet (but gently- lest find yourself
off the MFA grant-giving gravy train). 6) Repeat step 2. 7) Repeat step
1. The most telling part of this seeming parody is how absolutely dead
on this formula (or similar variations) is.
  Other blurbs that get worked into reviews are, “He/she is the finest
poet/lyricist/voice of his her generation/ethnic group.”, quoting
virtues that have nothing to do with artistic ability as if they do-
i.e.- “So & so demonstrates a keen sense of justice in a world that
lacks such.”- or “So & so shows us what it’s like to be a human capable
of love in a time that has forgotten such.”- or they will quote the
obvious ills that no reasonable person champions as a reason this poet
is great because they stand against it: “His/her poems reveal the truly
dark nature of nuclear war/racism/AIDS/the Holocaust like no one since
poetaster of your choice.”- or they will make statements that are total
oxymorons and/or nonsequiturs, “Poet X’s work always makes use of the
facile nature of charm’s effluvia.”- or 1 word reviews from former
students/professors/lovers (& sometimes all 3) who have gripes with the
poet but refuse to badmouth them lest become Apostates: “Marvelous!”,
“Stunning!”, “Bravo!”. Then there are the blurbs that are so
indecipherable that one cannot tell if they are pro- the poet, or
parodies (knowing or not) in masquerade: “His/her poetry crackles with
the dew of a newfound notion glistening through the hollow timbre of a
contemporary milieu so devoid of direction that Modern Man has forgotten

how to love that inner well from which all art- indeed, all poetry-
finds succor and refuge in, in a time of meager global
conscientiousness.” Then there is the near ubiquitous tactic of damning
most contemporary poetry, save for the few good ones as this poet being
reviewed, while never mentioning any of the myriad bad poets, magazines,

nor presses- nor why they are bad, and this one not.
  While there are many journals that practice these dastardly tactics of

reviewing it is the ones which solely do reviews that have raised it to-

dare I?- an art form. Locally, in Minnesota, the 2 magazines that have
made this garbage ubiquitous are the Ruminator Review (née Hungry Mind
Review) & Rain Taxi. So oppressive has been their influence that the
term magalog (magazine-catalog) has been coined to describe these
‘supposed’ journals which have become- in effect- mere book catalogs-
they give title, author, publisher, price, a rosy review, & sometimes
even ordering/contact information. And of these 2 it has been Rain Taxi
that has exhibited the most unabashed ass-kissing in its attempts to
curry favor for its band of mediocre-bad writers....





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