[Syndicate] WTO applauded for insulting Gandhi (and epistolaris@freemail

[Anna Balint <epistolaris@freemail.hu>]

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August 30, 2001
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 
WTO INTRODUCES NEW MEMBER
Gold and one meter long, phallus is brand-new technology to 
control distant workers 

Anti-WTO impostors have struck again, delivering a lecture 
about the rights of slavery, the stupidity of Gandhi, and 
the supremacy of free trade to an enthusiastic crowd of 
scientists, engineers, and marketing professionals--all of 
whom thought they were watching an official WTO 
representative. 

The 150 experts at the "Textiles of the Future" conference 
in Tampere, Finland heard one Hank Hardy Unruh explain that 
Gandhi's "self- sufficiency" movement was entirely 
misguided, because it centered around protectionism, and 
that Lincoln, by outlawing slavery, had criminally 
interfered with the trade freedom of the South, as well as 
with slavery's own freedom to develop naturally. Had 
slavery never been abolished, Unruh said, today's much 
cheaper system of sweatshops would have eventually replaced 
it anyhow; following this free-market logic to the end, 
Unruh declared the Civil War just a big waste of money. 

Finally, to applause from the highly educated audience, 
Unruh's business suit was ripped off to reveal a golden 
leotard with a three-foot-long phallus. The purpose of 
the "Management Leisure Suit", he explained, was to allow 
managers, no matter where they were, to monitor their 
distant, impoverished workforces and to administer shocks 
to encourage productivity--assuring that no "Gandhi-type 
situation" develop again. 

"If a group of Ph.D.s cheers at such crudely crazy things, 
just because it's the WTO saying them, what else can the 
WTO get away with?" said Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men, the 
impostors' umbrella group. (The entire PowerPoint lecture 
is available at www.theyesmen.org/finland/, along with some 
shots captured by a video crew preparing a film on the Yes 
Men's activities.) 

The Yes Men had a similar experience last October with a 
group of international trade lawyers 
(www.theyesmen.org/wto/). And in July, a member of the 
group, again passing as a representative of the WTO, 
appeared on a major television network show about protest's 
effect on the market (www.theyesmen.org/tv.html); among 
other things, he spoke about how the privatization of 
education will naturally eliminate "unproductive" thinkers 
from the high-school classroom, a long-term solution to the 
problem of protest. (Because the imposture was not noticed 
and the Yes Men hope for further appearances, the show's 
name is being withheld.) 

In other quarterly developments: 

A conference session on techniques to counter anti-
corporate activism, normally available for $225 to 
corporate clients, is available to activists for free at 
rtmark.com/prsa/, thanks to an anonymous donor. 
At the G8 protests in Genoa, activists distributed one 
thousand vanity mirrors, which were then used to reflect 
the sun into the eyes of attacking policemen; this 
fulfilled RTMark project MIRR, and those who carried it out 
received a $1,000 anonymous investment.
The "Archimedes Project" comes on the heels of the medieval 
catapult attack on the FTAA fortress in Quebec City, for 
which the workers were awarded $200. For the upcoming IMF 
protests in Washington, D.C., on September 29, an RTMark 
investor has offered $500 to any Lacrosse team that 
harnesses their skills and equipment to throw tear gas 
canisters back to the police 
(rtmark.com/fundhigh.html#LACR). 
A software development kit and book from hactivist.com, 
entitled "Child as Audience", allows anyone to reverse-
engineer the Nintendo Gameboy. Because of content that many 
will find objectionable, RTMark has lent its corporate veil 
to the project, meaning that any legal flak will be 
absorbed by the RTMark corporate body rather than by those 
responsible. 
The same label that enraged Geffen Records 
with "Deconstructing Beck" is issuing its fourth RTMark-
sponsored release, "A Mutated Christmas," a paean to 
musical sharing illegally assembled from copyrighted 
holiday music. Promotional copies will be available in late 
September; press and radio requests should be directed to 
illegalart@detritus.net. 

  
RTMark's primary goal is to publicize corporate subversion 
of the democratic process. To this end it acts as a 
clearinghouse for anti-corporate projects. A list of just-
added projects is maintained at rtmark.com/new.html. 


                 




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